This is part of a year-long series. Find out more about this series here.

Matthew 1:18-19

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. ¹⁹ And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.

We don’t know much about Joseph, but I imagine he was a quiet and understanding soul. He doesn’t get much playing time in the pages of Scripture, and we have to piece our understanding of him together based on his actions when he does show up.

Matthew introduces Joseph immediately after his opening genealogy in chapter 1. Right away, he is presented as a character who feels the gravity of situations, understands nuance, and cares for others. Joseph and Mary are betrothed, which was a similar custom to our modern engagement. However, the ancient custom of betrothal included an agreement being made by the parents of the betrothed¹ — similar to what Americans would consider an “arranged marriage.” The social ramifications of a betrothal, therefore, extended beyond the preferences and feelings of the betrothed; the situation was bigger than them, and they were expected to live up to it.

However, Mary was found to be pregnant before the marriage was solidified and before the betrothed couple had been intimate. Joseph arrived at the most logical conclusion: that Mary had been intimate with another man. And this is where Joseph’s complexity becomes apparent. Joseph decides he wants to end the betrothal because of Mary’s assumed infidelity, but that decision was bigger than his to make alone. The betrothal was a familial matter, and breaking such a strong, public agreement was messy.

Joseph wanted to “divorce her quietly” (v.19) because he was “a just man” (v.18) and was “unwilling to put her to shame” (v.19). Joseph understood the weight of the situation. He understood what would and could happen to Mary. Under the Mosaic Law, adultery was punishable by stoning (Leviticus 20:10; Deuteronomy 22:22). Deuteronomy 24:1-4 permitted divorce in Joseph’s situation, but he cared about her to the extent that he did not want the ordeal to negatively affect her.

Thus, Joseph’s story shows us a character who seeks to navigate messy situations in a just manner. He is okay with breaking agreements where the Law permits, but he does not wish to do so in a way that damages others. He seeks to toe the line of nuance as he goes about his life, and I think this is exactly how we should seek to live as well.

Footnotes

1. David Witthoff, ed., The Lexham Cultural Ontology Glossary (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2014).
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